INVISIBLE URUGUAYANS – Montevideo, Uruguay (datas diferentes)

Someone must own those cars...hmmm

   

          Sometimes you just need to get away from it all. Unfortunately, if you must leave town because your tourist visa runs out and you will become illegal, the desire is exacerbated by the threat of deportation. Should you go to Montevideo for a few days? It’s a good idea because in late September/early October (at least) no one lives there.

         

           

Isn't there a better use of beachfront property? C'mon...

          Sure, you’ll find the lonely baker selling empanadas or churros, an elderly pharmacist, a disenchanted bookseller. But try finding a bar at quitting time with more than three people in it. A safe bet of one thousand Uruguayan pesos (about fifty U.S. bucks) says you’ll have a better chance of finding anti-Israel graffiti or a stray dog than a native with a smile on her face and a drink in her hand.



Montevideo is as unnatural as this scene
in a public park: cats and ducks living together;
no one was around to explain the rules to them

            Are you looking for action? Go somewhere else. We couldn’t tell if they took on the siesta habit of their old colonial rulers, but by three o’clock on Friday afternoon all the restaurants and stores were closing up shop. If it weren’t for the aforementioned political spray paint in the Centro neighborhood, you might have guessed everyone was getting ready for Shabbos services at temple. Guide books warned of prostitution and casinos, but we saw no evidence of cheap sex, and only spotted one casino and the sad place couldn’t be bothered to fix its sign: “CAS NO” they proclaimed.




Big turnout at the Mercado del Puerto

 
            One might figure everything must pick up at night, yes? Guess again! True, people filled up restaurants like meat palace El Fogón in Centro and the heavy-on-the-cream-cheese sushi and such of Café Misterio in Carrasco, but then—phhhhhwap!—into the ether right after paying the check. 

            If you need to make a city yours, Montevideo’s 1975-ish, pre-renovated Miami Beach-esque feel is ready for a takeover. No one will stop you.